The other day while I was at work this table of 6 came in, and the other servers most graciously decided to give it to me. (Thanks, guys.) Well, it was supposed to be 6, but it ended up being a lot more than that.
It all started out with like, 2 old ladies. I cannot tell you how much I dislike waiting on tables of old ladies. They are very picky, and downright impossible sometimes.
They don't actually look at the menu, they just order whatever the heck they want. "Yes honey, I want 2 pancakes, 1 egg scrambled hard, (and honey, I mean hard,) and 1 piece of bacon. Oh, and make that bacon extra crispy." Okay, well, we don't really have anything with one egg and one piece of bacon. I'll have to put everything under sides, okay? "Okay, honey. That's fine." They all get almost the same thing, and then when you take it to their table they can't remember what they ordered.
Here I come with the hot plates... Okay. Who ordered Harvest Grain and Nut pancakes? "Well, I had some pancakes, sweetie." Were they Harvest Grain and Nut? "Well, I guess. I don't remember. Just set them here." I set them down and she tears into them. Now some lady across the table who was so busy gossiping that she didn't even know I was at the table looks over and says, "Harvest Grain and Nut! Those are mine!" Um, well, your friend here who doesn't know what she ordered has already poured boysenberry syrup all over your pancakes. "Well, go get me some. I don't care if I have to wait 20 minutes. I want my Harvest Grain and Nut pancakes!" Turns out that this lady does care if she had to wait 20 minutes, and the one who ordered her bacon extra crispy is suing IHOP for the cost of her ruined dentures. Well, that may be a slight exaggeration, but it really is difficult!
Anyhow, it started with 2 old ladies and ended up being about 9. Woohoo! They weren't that bad, as far as The Clovis Widows Club type tables are concerned.
I had sort of picked up that these were a bunch of church ladies, and they were having a fabulous time sharing prayer concerns and all the details on their most recent surgeries. Their most recent surgeries, and also the surgeries of their husbands, friends, family members, their roommates in the hospitals, and their pet poodles.
Their food comes out, and I get it all ready to go. This time I was prepared. I had everything written down and pulled it exactly how it would be set on the table, that way we wouldn't have any Harvest Grain and Nut or egg mix ups.
I had put about half of the food down and about 5 plates in my hands when one of the ladies has a very bright idea. "Well now, why don't we say a blessing?" Whoosh! They all join hands and bow their heads. Okay... Here I am holding plates. I thought, surely they'll remember I'm standing here. They'll make it short. My, my. I was so wrong.
"Dear Heavenly Father, I thank you for this wonderful opportunity for all of my friends to come out to breakfast on this beautiful morning. I thank you for the cold weather, and I also thank you for the beautiful sunshine." Cool. Maybe she's almost done. "And Heavenly Father, I thank you for Ruby. We are so glad to have her with us today, and Lord, I also thank you for Alma. I'm so blessed to have her in my circle. You know what a wonderful friend she is, Father." She proceeded to thank God for every person at the table. "And dear Lord, I thank you for Leona. You know that she can't get out much anymore, but I just thank you that she could be with us today. You know what a blessing it is. And Father, I thank you for her daughter, Linda. Thank you so much for her servant heart and for her kindness to her mother, Father..." Then she started going over all of the prayers that the ladies named while they were ordering.
Finally, she started to wind down a little. I thought, Whew! Finally she's going to end it! I almost died laughing when she continued, "And Heavenly Father, my heart is heavy because we didn't reach our Lottie Moon Christmas offering this year. I just pray Father, that you would instill a desire, a generousity in everyones hearts that they will give, and that Jesus, we would be able to reach our goal." On and on! It was the funniest thing!
Anyway, I did eventually survive the table. They were really a sweet bunch of old ladies.
May you always reach your Lottie Moon Christmas Offering goal, and may your Annie Armstrong Easter Offering be successful, also.
Anna
